May 28, 2003


[Sounds of small waves gently crashing on shore]

Perhaps I could use this essay to expound upon the glaring class struggles of the native Hawaiian islanders. Or the debilitating high cost of perishables and gas around the state. Or the negative effect of non-native plant species is having on the islands. Or how rampant overdevelopment in some parts of some islands has resulted in destroying native habitats and generally ruining paradise. Or how mudslides and volcanoes have destroyed many roads across the state. Or how being a sports fan in Hawaii would be darn near impossible due to time zone differences. Or how the insidious drug called "ice" (crystal meth) has ruined more lives per capital in Hawaii than any other state (at that time). But then again, I was on my honeymoon, the sun was shining, Hoang was glowing, and we had nowhere to be and nothing to do on an 84 degree dry Hawaiian day.

[Sounds of seagulls calling in the distance]

So screw you poor smoking, habitat destroying, lava avoiding, poor people! I've got some rays to catch! Of course, when one's skin is the color of paper, one doesn't exactly love lying around on the beach. Throw in the fact that I have barely discernable musculature and you have the makings for a guy who avoids sunbathing like the plague. But Kauai is different - there are no meathead morons preening about making me feel inadequate and the hottest girl on the entire island was my wife of 3 days. So I slathered on some spf 50 and we made our way to the beach.

[Sounds of palm fronds faintly rustling in the breeze]

Goodness, Poipu Beach is absurdy nice. There's really not that much more to say about it than that. Soft white sand, a few palm trees, calm surf, warm blue water... I had my girl, my magazines, my sunscreen - I was all set. Owing to the crazy-long day prior, we had only managed to get out of bed around noonish, so we lazily spent the afternoon lying around on the beach, alternating between swimming, reading, and dozing. That's it. No funny stories, no quirky asides... Nothing. Oh, I suppose I could mention how weird it was for me to wear a ring, and how I was hyper-paranoid about it sliding off when I was frolicking in the surf. But that's too anecdotal even for me! So let's just enjoy what this day was; a day of perfect nothingness - a whole day during which we drove nowhere, hiked no further than 100 yards, and had nowhere to be at any particular time. What a complete and utter rarity for a Steve/Hoang trip!

[Sounds of a small boat's sail flapping in the bay]

Of course, this allows me to get away with writing pretty much nothing too! So once evening fell, we had dinner at the "posh" hotel restaurant and turned in early. And that's all I can say about our first full day on Kauai - hey it WAS our HONEYMOON afterall, right?!

[Sounds of... Hey, shut your mouth!]

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